I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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