forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
