I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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