My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
