Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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