Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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