i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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