WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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