i will never coherently bang her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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