Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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