I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
