i just wanna soil my oats bro
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
