My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i now understand why vodka
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
