I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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