This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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