Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want to make out with him forever
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
