Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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