Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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