We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Couch. On fire.
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