Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
