I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
