Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
