i think i have two assholes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
