my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
