He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
