Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
