it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
third nipple confirmed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
