just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
wow bdsm is so cute
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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