I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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