Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
