At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
