Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
