Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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