every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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