There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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