I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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