now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
