his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
