dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
