My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
