she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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