Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
