why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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