Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
