Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
