u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did I show you my penis last night?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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