Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
