I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
only you would photoshop your dick
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
