apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
