Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
