I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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