DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
