Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
