haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
